Gan's G.O.N (Games, Opinions and News)
The first of the weekly articles telling you what's happening in the world of mobilegamefaqs, what game reviews we have coming for you all and what has annoyed me today.
Hello one and all and welcome to the first week's instalment of what I hope will be a popular feature.
My name is Gan (or is it...?) and I'm here to tell you all what mobilegamefaqs has to offer you, the consumer, in the fast and exciting world of mobile entertainment.
First up on the agenda is a new feature that we have introduced here on the site. We call it the 'Mobilegamefaqs awards'
! Catchy don't you think. We feel that even though our reviews are comprehensive, they're just not enough. We aim to try and be as detailed as possible when it comes to rating a game and to that end, we have begun introducing awards for those games which we feel stand out from the rest. There are 5 categories, the wooden spoon (which you should avoid at all costs), bronze, silver, gold and ice cold. For a game to get ice cold, it has to be pretty damn special. Gold is given to a game which is very good in all aspects but just doesn't have that certain something that makes you play the game until you realise three days have passed. Silver is a touch down from gold and is a good attempt at a game which deserves recognition for a particularly good feature. Bronze is a overall nice job, which makes the game stand out amongst games of a similar rating but doesn't manage to hit the heights of silver, gold and ice cold. How patronising did that sound?
Anyway, onto something even more exciting as we have lots of new reviews coming your way. First up will be the sequel to the classic game Townsmen. The game is Townsmen 2 Gold and promises to be better than the original. The game features an armoury so your townies can perform raids and even a church where you can bless the town. How cool is that? After this we should have reviews of some classics such as Speedball, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Samurai Jack - Samurai Showdown. These last two have been big hits on the small screen (I am a fan of both) but how will they translate to the smaller screen of a mobile phone? Watch this space.
So I want to know what's the deal with Monday mornings? There was a report in that bastion of great journalism (or cheaper rip off of the Daily Mail) the Metro about how Monday mornings are proven to induce greater levels of stress. Excuse me, but how much money was spent on this study? And how many hours were wasted trying to prove a useless fact which we already knew? Do these people who performed the study not have to go to work on a Monday morning? Don't they experience the dread feeling come Sunday night when you realise that you have somehow encountered the weekend at a relatavistic speed whereby 2 and a half days have elapsed in a matter of hours? Or when it gets to 11pm and you suddenly remember that you forgot to do your washing and ironing for the week as you were too drunk and hung over the previous night (and you're desperately trying to find a shirt on monday morning where the creases and alcohol stains aren't too visible). I think these people should ask more pertinent questions such as if there is engineering work one weekend every month on the central line, why is the service getting worse? What do the staff do? Have a chat and talk about what's going on in Eastenders? Spend the afternoon walking down the line laying leaves for the inevitable delay every monday morning? I have performed my own study which has concluded that Monday mornings contain the largest number of delays and travel problems than any other day of the week. My suggestion is to make Mondays a half day where everyone starts after lunch time. The hours could be made up by working an extra half hour each day (come on, you don't really do any work in that last half hour before you go home do you?). What do you all think?
Finally I'm going to throw in a film quote each week. Mail me back and tell me where it's from and who knows - we may even find the resources to buy you a happy meal and a trip to the cinema (actually, maybe that was overstating our resources a bit - I think it might just be the happy meal only).
"Ain't nuthing wrong with my yang!"
Until next week,
Drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org