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tickle the GON, go on... we dare you!
03/6/05 13:59
Gan's G.O.N.
The waiting is over, I'm back and here to stay! More news, games and opinions than ever before!
Ok, welcome back to the weird and wonderful world of Gan's GON. For all those wondering what happened last week, I can honestly say that I really wanted to be able to write my GON but circumstances were beyond my control. And if you want to know the real reason, mail me and I might be persuaded to tell you.

Ok, enough about me, let me tell you all what's going on. We've had a pretty good month here at Mobile Game Faqs and are even starting to get noticed a little bit on Google as well. Our news articles are picking up steam and we've had some quite good coverage lately. Of course, as loyal visitors to our site, you all know that anyway ;). One new addition is that we now have a ringtones page which should have all the latest cool stuff for you to download onto your phones. The ringtones link is here. Of course we do keep records so if you download that damn frog, we know who you are! I actually heard it on the train the other day and when it went off, the owner, a young girl, looked around at all the stares and got very very embarassed. I think this is the only way we'll beat it, by the sheer shame of having it if you do.

Onto what you're all here for (don't worry, my rant is coming up in a bit), the games. We have had a fair number since last time, all great titles for you to check out. There's Black Ops which got a silver award from us. Check out this cool strategy game. Then there's probably one of the best puzzle games you could hope to get on your phone, the PC converted Jewel Quest which is a must for all puzzle fans. We weren't sitting on our laurels either and managed to pack in , Foster's Balloon Bonanza and Scooby Doo 2 Dark Dungeons as well. If that wasn't enough to please we have upcoming reviews of 2005 Real Football, New York Nights - Success in the City, Metal Smash Pinball, the classic Galaxian and....and....and...(if you've watched that Men for Sale clip starring JCVD I told you all about you'll know what I'm talking about) wait for it.....QUAKE!!! Yes folks, Quake is coming to a mobile near you soon and we'll be one of the first to play it!

So, onto the rant or comment or whatever you want to call it. I'm trying at the moment to get the comedy clip I mentioned above (of Mr Van Damme on a UK programme called Men for Sale) online so you can all see it. If anyone can assist me with transferring VHS to mpeg or some other format, please drop me a line, the mail address is at the bottom of the page. Well, I watched an old programme which apparently was made a few years ago, that I hadn't seen. It was called Man vs Beast and was absolute comedy. I understand that they had some complaints following the show from the animal rights activists but there were some seriously funny moments there! The first event was a hot dog eating contests between a grizzly bear and the current world champion, a famous japanese guy. They even tried to compare the stats!! Human - age 24, weight 70kg etc. Bear - age 8, weight 140kg. And the event itself was hilarious, the guy was watching the bear and trying to eat as fast as he could, scooping two 'dogs' in his mouth at a time, but the bear sniffed the dogs and then just scooped about 5 in his mouth in one go! And he kept going beating the guy easily. When the winner was being announced the bear stood up in the background and started waving his arms around and growling. It was hilarious. And more was to follow as an orangutan had a tug of war contest with a sumo champion. The orangutan was aged about 3 by the way. And the sumo was trying so damn hard to win while the orangutan was yawning and looking around and then boom, the orangutan pulled on the rope with one quick jerk and sent the sumo flying! Then there was a 100m race between an american sprinter (age 23, 100m time in 9.98 secs) and a giraffe (agre 12, 100m time: UNKOWN!). When they got out of the blocks the sprinter went for it but the giraffe just started ambling around wondering what the hell was going on! When the sprinter won, he was very pleased with himself, but the giraffe was probably wondering "Where the hell am I? How did I get here? What's that stupid guy wearing? Where's my dinner?". I didn't make it to the end of the show but I think that there should be an annual event for this, and we could have some really cool races like facing an elephant in a memory contest, or a 100m breast stroke against a dolphin or a meat eating contest between maybe me and a lion. Of course, that wouldn't really be a contest as I'd win hands down.

I hope you all watched one of my favourite films the other day - Superman III starring the incomparable Richard Pryor and Robert Vaughan. It contains a great line which I think we should all use one day as Ross the Boss tells Gus his philosophy for life "You know Gus, a wise man once said, I think it was Atilla the Hun, it is not enough that I succeed.....everyone else must fail!"

See you all next time!
Drop me a line at gan@mobilegamefaqs.com

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